Abused in the Hallway

To my utter dismay, I was this morning at work, involved in a hallway shuffle with a woman who was carrying about her person, at least 2 Backstreet Boys in extra weight.

That in itself is not what bothers me. What does was the fact that, at 136kgs, she was able to move with the speed and grace of a gazelle.

And so, with that speed and grace, before I could avoid the approaching horror, I was pinned forward facing, up against a large mass of heaving flesh. To make matters worse, the smell of Eggs McMuffin mixed with lashings of “Curious” from that Spears girl, has yet to dissolve from my nostrils.

After what seemed to be a period in which the entire universe expanded and retracted, dragging stars and solar systems into mere seconds, she disengaged herself from my abused and flattened torso, with an apology and a smile.

-Begging your pardon, she laughed as she walked away, leaving me with images in my mind that I know will take centuries to fade.




About gentlemenbrown

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